Dear Amy: I am a widow, and my significant other, “Siena,” is a widow.
Once upon a time, we dated in college (seriously) for a few years, but “life” got in the way and we broke up.
We married other people. Two of our partners have died.
Decades later, we are in a wonderful relationship.
Last year, I brought Siena to my daughter’s big annual family reunion. We had a great time. We felt welcome (we thought); but this year, everything has changed.
I got a message from my daughter inviting me, but not Siena, to the party.
I texted, “What about Siena?”
She replied that some members of her husband’s family were uncomfortable with Siena’s presence.
Here’s “Kick” … and he’s using long leg irons and aluminum front rods when he walks.
I was told that “some” who were there last year were “worried” that he would be tripped up by the children who were having fun, but we believe that was not the real reason.
At last year’s party, someone asked Siena if she had been vaccinated against polio as a child. He replied that his mother would not allow him to receive the polio vaccine. He explained it this way: “Even back then, some people were crazy anti-vaxxers.”
Clearly there is (or at least one) anti-vaxxer in my son-in-law’s family; and Siena’s comment must have offended one or more of them.
Or maybe they don’t like being around disabled people.
We’re fine not going to the party, but do you think I should talk to my daughter about Siena’s “expulsion”, or let it go to ensure peace with my in-laws?
Siena is convinced that we (I) should just leave it at that.
What do you think?
– Undecided
Dear Indecisive: You may ask your daughter to be more specific about “Siena” being kicked out of her home for this incident.
(Could it be that these anti-vaccine mothers-in-law are also too weak, scared, or angry to face the important reality of a vaccine-free world?)
Your daughter may not believe that one of her husband’s relatives is in the anti-vaxxers group, but I think it would be worth trying to find out how open your daughter is. having a relationship with your partner.
You and Siena are together, so Siena is (basically) coming into your daughter’s family. The same motivation that you want to maintain peace with your mother-in-law also extends to your daughter, who should show kindness to your spouse.
After asking about this, you should listen to your daughter, and – assuming she won’t give a satisfactory answer, you and Siena should stay at home together this day, yes – let it go.
Dear Amy: My girlfriend and I are in our 20s. My grandfather recently passed away, and I inherited $500,000!
This took me completely by surprise and honestly, in addition to missing my grandfather and feeling grateful for his generosity, we were happy with this unexpected gift.
My girlfriend wants to retire early. He sees this as a life changer and we talk about the best way to use it.
We agreed to bring this problem to you.
– Blessed
Dear Blessed One: I appreciate your trust in me; you should trust a more qualified financial advisor.
My opinion is: This is not your dream girlfriend money. Must be your.
Another potentially “life-changing” tip would be to pay close attention to how your girlfriend reacts to it.
You should not think about how to use this money, but how to invest or save it.
This i a lot of money, and still nowhere near what someone your age would need to retire. (However, if you choose, it can easily put you in your first house, ie strength be a good investment for you.)
Dear Amy: In response to “Too Many Parents” about insisting on As and Bs in college, we have three grown children.
We also agreed on rules about paying for their college expenses.
Our rules were: You have to pass the class in order for us to continue paying for continuing education. You must also have completed college before the age of 30, and our participation only covers bachelor’s degrees.
They all seemed fine, and we’re happy to say they all have letters from the spring.
– Proud Parents
Dear Mottola: Congratulations to you all!
(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, PO Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter. @askingamy or Facebook)
©2024 Amy Dickinson. Distributed by Tribune Content Agency, LLC.
More Ask Amy
#Amy #retire #500K #inheritance #mention #20something
